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Hello everyone! My name is Aneka Théolade and I am TurnOn Britain’s new social butterfly.

It is almost serendipitous that my first blog post in this role is on the topic of relating. This isn’t the first time that I have worked for TurnOn. Earlier this year, I tried my hand at being the company’s production lead. I lasted 3 months. While it isn’t uncommon for there to be a fast turnaround in work and roles in the world of orgasm as people flow and change with the call of desire, there is also the personal challenge of learning how to “stay connected no matter what” and working on those painful barriers to connection.

My departure was triggered by a familiar and desperate longing to belong, something I couldn’t seem to satisfy, no matter how hard I tried. Although aware of my beliefs around belonging, it was hard to take responsibility for the painful ways in which these beliefs shaped my reality and I felt angry at my colleagues for all the many instances in which I felt they had left me out!

It has taken me 5 months to get clear on what happened and to make my way back to where I want to be.

One of the reasons I was able to make the journey was that although I walked away from TurnOn, TurnOn never walked away from me. It was in the reality of the concern, interest, and compassion that I felt from my ex-colleagues, even in my absence, that my beliefs continued to unravel. In the cognitive dissonance created by the contrast between my beliefs and the ongoing connection I was experiencing, the barriers to connection from my past moved from simply being in my awareness, to revealing themselves as the fictions they are.

Relationships as practice

In Orgasm, relationships are considered crucibles for healing. When elevated to the “level of practice,” they offer an opportunity to expose and understand what gets in the way of what most of us deeply want – connection. What gets revealed in the intense practice of “staying connected no matter what” is a series of beliefs and patterns. It only takes one course at TurnOn Britain to show that these beliefs and patterns are not unique to us either. Beliefs like “I am unlovable,” “I don’t belong” and “I am too much,” are almost universal, as well as, patterns of intimacy avoidance like withholding our thoughts and feelings and checking-out when genuine closeness begins to emerge in our relationships.

Beliefs and patterns sabotage our relationships, according to senior OM practitioner and teacher, Yia Vang. When we relate to each other through the filters of our beliefs and patterns, she explains, no one gets nourished, and it means that we are left with this empty feeling inside that we are constantly seeking to get filled by others.

Orgasmic Meditation: A special ingredient

Combining relating as practice with routine orgasmic meditation (OM) has essentially caused a paradigm shift in the way that I relate to others and has brought me back to a place that I ran away from. By altering the way that I relate to my body, by providing a way to listen to what it wants and what it is trying to tell me, OM has made the feeling of connection/orgasm a key modality of healing and growth in my life.  I am drawn to people and experiences that are beyond my conditioned preferences and in learning to relate to them, my life only grows larger and more pleasurable.

The Relating Weekend

On Saturday 15th and Sunday 16th September, TurnOn Britain will host ‘The Relating Weekend.’ All about how to create orgasmic relationships that are fulfilling and allow for your fullest self-expression, this isn’t one to be missed. To find out more or to book online, visit https://turnonbritain.co.uk/courses/relationship-course/

 Aneka Théolade is TurnOn Britain’s new social butterfly. She handles all things social media and you can meet her in person at a Meetup near you (or at the TurnOn Britain Centre on Goswell Road, London)